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Motivation, Enjoyment & Knowing Yourself


What inspires and motivates you?  This concept has changed for me greatly over the years.  (Thank GOD!)


~Images courtesty of WIX AI Assistant


Today, the most important "thing" is doing the things that I enjoy, that feel good to me personally.  And even if sometimes they don't feel great in the moment, they add to my long term happiness & wellbeing.  There are plenty of things that feel good in the moment, but they may not add to our lives long-term, or they may leave us feeling worse later.  In my 30's I was on many types of meds for ADD/ADHD.  From what I remember in all my googling for self diagnosis, there wasn't much information out there about why I could never feel satisfied, was always discontent, always starting projects and never finishing them, always seeking some type of joy.  I relied on Rx meds and other substances like alcohol, food, tobacco, and more at times like picking a fight with someone, to scratch the itch for a feel good chemical reaction in my body.  I thought I had terrible will power, or that something was just innately wrong with me, but I just didn't really know myself very well.  I was taught to live someone else's life in a mostly artificial world built on survival, ancestral patterns and made up rule books about how we should think, act, and live.  This was not how I was meant to live.   


I learned that you can alter your brain chemistry naturally.  It's up to each person to decide what's best for them.  At age 49, it's been over 12 years since I was on psych meds, or any medication for that matter, and I've learned a few things about myself.    


I've shared a lot over the years about the foundations that helped me.  Breath, meditation, yoga, nature, playing, energy work, movement, singing, attitude, humor, accepting myself fully, not taking life too seriously, accepting others and the world, honesty, integrity, commitment to self, and so much more.... BUT most importantly:  I remembered who I am.  I tapped into that eternal connection within.  I know I'm so much more than this human expression and there is no one, no thing above me.  I am my own maker in and of this life.  I am a facet of Creator and so are you.  I'm not discounting God.  I'm saying that I am part of God and it's part of me and there's no separation.  I don't need someone else's interpretation of the Source of creation. I can tap into it in my very own way.  What changed my life was claiming it as my own, and welcoming my true Self to take the reins and guide me out of the fog and into the light, into me.  But, this story isn't about all that deep spiritual stuff as much as it's intended to share some very practical, experiential tips for finding the motivation and enjoyment in everyday life!  I know a lot of folks that are struggling with motivation, joy, enjoyment, and living a truly fulfilled life.    


So, what motivates you?  Let's be more clear.  What releases feel good chemicals into your brain?  You can't deny the human, animal part of you, so let's work with it and let your natural brain chemistry work for you.  What makes you want to get out of bed in the morning?  What lights a fire under your butt??  It is different for each of us and that's why you can't just read a book that tells you what to do.  In fact, I almost never read books.  I try, but I usually find them dreadful!  One man's trash.... 


For many years, after I pulled the plug on meds for ADHD, Bipolar, Depression & Anxiety, I couldn't really get out of bed!  Lying in bed, listening to any number of spiritual interviews, podcasts, audiobooks, etc. was the most embracing feeling for me.  Allowing myself to do very, very little for those years was important because the avalanche of fear and anxiety made it very difficult to shower, leave the house, or even sit upright.  I laid in bed or on the floor mostly.   I am positive that I spent over 20 hours per day in a lying position for a couple years.  If you've ever heard accounts of people who pulled themselves off this type of prescription cocktail, the stories are similar.  Luckily, I surrendered my fate to my Creator Self and was able to relax into the misery and insanity of it for the most part.  Many of the audios I enjoyed so much were specifically infused with crystalline frequencies - you could call this the frequency of God, Source, or pure love.  That's one reason I make meditations and offer events infused with loving, embracing energy.  I have experienced the effects very tangibly and witnessed the changes in my mind, body and life.  At certain points in life, we just need to be held.  





My body and brain chemistry was completely out of whack.  For a long time, I needed to feel what it feels like to feel OKAY again, without the pills.  I didn't beleive I could feel okay without it, so I needed proof.  I wasn't feeling a lot of love at that time, but feeling "okay", like I was gonna make it through the day, was an immense improvement.  I wallowed in these audios for years and years.  I allowed myself to listen and feel as long as needed, as long as I wanted to.  It seems my Creator Self had a hand in setting me up for this shift.  I had built a great 401k and savings account, so I could afford not to work for several years.  Many looked at my life and thought "Oh No! Poor thing, what happened to her?".  I previously had a high paying job, good husband, 2 kids, picket fence and a cat!  Meow, that's the American dream!  The truth is, I was finally, finally, starting to come to life.  I was starting to feel the love at the core of my being and within creation.  The pills, although they helped temporarily, and served a purpose, they numbed all this.  I couldn't feel all the terribly uncomfortable emotions, and I couldn't feel the love and connection to myself and to others.  I had been numb for a long time. 


The seemingly endless years of feeling all the icky, emotional feelings come up to the surface and out of my body weren't pretty, but eventually they cleared out.  Now, I am still coming back to life!  Life never stops flourishing.  I say it a lot, so maybe it sounds overdone :) but life is just beginning, again and again... and more! 


So, What motivates you?  If you're coming back to life again and again like me, I suggest you explore this.  Try new things and see how you feel.  Choose things that are going to add to your life long-term.  New habits start with one little step again and again.  How much fun can you have in this life?  How much love can you experience?  Ask yourself these questions and more!  



When I was a kid, I was chubby.  Most of what I remember from childhood was hating it, being awkward and unhappy.  So, how did I learn to feel better?  Food.  Sugar and carbs are especially great at boosting dopamine.  Most research today equates the boost to cocaine or heroin.  The problem I noticed with this is the insatiable desire for more.  My body has no problem processing junk food, but I absolutely hate feeling like a crack addict jonesing for more!  I have eaten myself into a stomach ache more times than I can count.  This became similar for alcohol and pot as I got older.  If I had one, I wanted two!   I see now that I just wanted to numb out the emotional load I was carrying and simultaneously stimulate some pleasure in the brain.   We are meant to have fun and enjoy life, not just drag through the motions to earn money and survive.  Food and drugs are not the mood boosters I want to rely on in my everyday life, although I allow myself to enjoy all things, it's about awareness and what is really going to benefit me long term.  It's about choosing things that are sustainable.  I can still have a drink or two, here and there, but at one point it was the goal at the end of every day!  For some, the addiction lies in overthinking, worrying, fighting, blaming, sex, drugs, work, control, power, attention from other people, money, etc.  It is unique for us all.  Finding what gives you a mood boost and simultaneously adds to your life, adds to the world, is key.  Joy adds to the world, so doing this for yourself is a great start! 


Starting my day with exercise and trying all ways, shapes, and forms of movement has been important for me to get back to life.  In my bedridden days, I didn't feel good enough to exercise daily, and it felt like torture.  So, I didn't do it.  I mostly did yin yoga or breathing, so always find what it is that you can do today.  I did a lot of stretching in bed for a while. If you know something would really help you, but you just don't feel like doing it, you can do it for a minute or two and build up.  You can even celebrate and reward yourself.  I had to do this a lot!   One small step at a time, then celebrate.



Eventually, I felt more and more like moving my body, but there was all this "I don't WANNA" energy.  Let's call this the old energy load, the toxin load in my mind and body, and part of me that didn't want to live.  You can compare this to the resistance to change that everyone feels at various times in life.  What do you do to go beyond the "I don't WANNA"?  You always start small.  Like I would walk to the dumpster to take the trash out each day, then celebrate this!!!  I sometimes would find myself doing several laps because it felt good!   That same summer, I ended up walking for hours most days because something broke loose and it felt so good!  I would proclaim out loud on my walk "This feels GOOD!" and when I got home I'd be going "Oh, I'm soooo glad I went!  Remember this! Remember this next time! I feel so much better!".    Our brain and body loves positive reinforcement.  To re-write your neurotransmitters (and how you feel), you have to consciously reprogram.  And seriously - don't just think things in your claustrophobic head!  Say them outloud.  Yep, say them out loud.  Put on headphones while you walk and talk to yourself if you like.  Talk to your cat, to your Self, to creation, to Creator.  Whatever you want to create - say it out loud.  Thoughts have very little energy.  Use your voice to change your energy.  


During the years when I could hardly get out of bed, I'd celebrate everything.  A shower "great job!" - calling a friend "great job!" - paying my bills "YESSS!" - cleaning the house "WHOOOOO HOOOO!".  I literally started celebrating every action as a win.  Your body is always listening to the thoughts and words you choose to empower.  What I was telling my body was:  I love life.  I love to do things.  I want to do more things.  I love to have fun.  I love to celebrate.  I want to live!  My body became completely healthy, not long after having all sorts of autoimmune and other health diagnoses when I had been on all the mind meds, isn't that amazing?  I was telling my body life is awesome, it's fun, I want to do stuff, and so of course - the body responds by becoming more vibrant and healthy.  I plan to be healthier in my 50's, and then even healthier in my 60's, and even healthier in my 70's.  Why not?  It's been my experience so far.  I've felt better decade over decade, and I'm sharing how I created that.  


Your body responds to what you are choosing.  If you say "I'm so sick and tired of..."  Your body says "Okay, if that's what you want!".  Don't be sick and tired of anything, ever!  If something isn't serving you, then remove it from your life.  If you're tired from judging something or someone in your life, choose acceptance and love.  


When I could hardly leave the house due to anxiety, I would make every venture an event.  I would reflect on how wonderful it was to see friends or family.  When you are looking at the same four walls for many years, getting out is scary but it's always a nice change of scenery.  I would exclaim "That was fun!  More please!".  There were times I nearly collapsed from all the sensitivity of emotional overwhelm, so this was no cakewalk, but I knew the emotion was dissolving.  Eye on the prize.  I celebrated doing it, even if it felt unbearable.  Pat yourself on the back for every fear you face!  Attitude is everything.  


Oh yes, a very important side note:  Never, ever, ever, ever.... ever.... Don't judge yourself for the times you choose to give into the fear.  For the times you don't take the step, or you do something you know isn't the best choice. Love yourself more.  Tell yourself "It's okay, it's perfectly fine, change happens as fast as it happens, and if you never change, I love you no matter what".  Yep, love yourself.  Accept yourself fully just as you are.  To the old linear mind programs, this sounds contradicting to what I share, but that's only because a mind that's been fully brainwashed into separation sees things as black and white.  I should say black OR white.  When in fact things can be black, white, and every shade in between and still be true.  So you can fully accept yourself and your situation now, and you can commit to change.  The two are not mutually exclusive.  They are in fact, absolutely reliant upon each other.  In order for long term, gentle, effective, easy, joyful, beneficial change, you must fully accept yourself now.  


I think you get the picture with this approach to celebrating yourself at every turn.  It may seem fake, made up, even silly.  Yeah, everything you've ever thought, decided, or been taught is made up, so why not make up your reality however you want it to be?  I choose joy, enjoyment, love, celebration, expression, movement.  I fully choose LIFE! 


Recently, I am enjoying getting the hardest jobs done first.  This is a new twist, but a familiar feeling from when I was younger.  At one point, I had to wait until the motivation arose for small and easy jobs because it felt too much like forcing myself otherwise.  Today, I can't wait for a big challenge or job, because I love to dive in.  This has a lot to do with my brain plasticity and chemistry, which is always changing.  



So, for you now:  What feels really good when you do it?   What feels really good after it's done?  I love to check things off my to-do list.  It has taken a while to come back to life, but I've been remembering how much I love to do things, to accomplish tasks, to have a goal or a challenge.  I flourish under pressure, but that's just me.  I don't have any attachments since I'm not really identified with this human life, so goals can be fun and flexible.  I don't feel so overwhelmingly challenged in life as I once did, so now I can choose goals and challenges because they create a ton of energy and focus for me.  I can choose things that add something valuable to my life like fun, health, wealth, experiences, connections, pleasure, and more.  


Now we need to step back for a little reality check.  You're not going to convince yourself that you like to do things you really don't like to do.  You're also not going to get to do only what you like 100% of the time.   


You might make up your reality with your beliefs, but you can't fool your true essence.  Our Creator Self craves to expand, create, and express.  The mental, analytical state of affairs in the world can feel suffocating, along with the expectations to conform to the rules imposed by society.  Most of us were born into default patterns of doing things we don't truly enjoy.  It's the things you do because your parents told you to, other people want you to, society expects you to, or because you've never questioned why you're doing what you're doing.  Or maybe you know, but you're scared to follow your own path.  Maybe you're even embarrassed to admit what you love to do because it's "weird" to society.  I went from a Corporate, leadership, successful, analytical personality who laughed at anything Religious or Spiritual as total bull$hit, and now here I am writing about the endless love of creation!  Letting my true expression come out was devastating for my younger characters - lol.  For many years, I felt like I was coming out of the closet!  Now I just can't fathom how weird it was to try and be someone else. To project a facade so that people.... hmmm..  like me? think I fit in? think I'm not a loser?  Isn't that a strange way to live?  



I dropped out of college in my 2nd semester at the University of Wisconsin.  I actually might have reacted and told my teacher off, and walked out of the classroom, never to return.  I found typical classroom learning to be a life sucking bore.  I never, ever regretted walking out and making my own way.  This isn't for everyone.  Some people love school.  But trying to force yourself to enjoy something you don't, simply won't work.  You will feel depressed, suppressed, heavy, angry, trapped, like a victim to life.  That doesn't mean we don't occasionally do tasks we don't enjoy.  


Today, I have a job that requires occasional classroom type training, like online courses.  I limit that to a few hours a week!  I find ways to make it more enjoyable.  I can do stretches, or breathwork, fascia release, or maybe even go for a walk outside while I listen on headphones.  Some of these courses are enjoyable and some are utterly boring.  That's life, but I limit my exposure to things that don't add value to my work, my health and my life!   I also don't hesitate to give feedback to my boss on trainings that were a flop, and ones that were a hit, and why.  I'm no longer afraid to express myself honestly, and that is a game changer.  Have you ever worked somewhere that the employees were afraid to give honest feedback, or maybe you experienced this within your family?  Now that is another strange way to live!  


P.S. Limiting exposure to things that don't add to your life includes the people you spend time with, the places you go, the food you eat, how you spend your money, the thoughts you think, and more.  It is all about where you direct your energy, encompassing every area of your life! 




Over the last 10 years, I've made list after list...after list.... of FEEL GOOD things I can do, to help me come back to life.  When you're feeling depleted of joy and energy, it can be very hard to make good choices.  Having a list helped me:  Go for a walk, call a friend, listen to music, sing, dance, stretch, watch a funny show, do yoga, do the dishes, listen to an audio, meditation, feel your presence and ask "what can I do right now?", get something done on your to-do list, journal, go the the park, go to the trail, drive to the store and look around, act of kindness, hum, tone, stretch, take a bath, go swimming, go to sauna, go to massage chair, play racquetball, play with the cat, find something inspiring on YouTube playlist, release your energy centers by tapping or stimulating or doing balancing exercises, conscious breathwork, tell yourself what you'd need to hear from a best friend, read a page from an uplifting book, watch Eckhart Tolle, go sit outside, etc....  


If you've read my posts over the years, you may know that my #1 feel good hack was to just lay down and welcome my essence, to just FEEL and not THINK!   To disengage from the mind and from space/time and feel myself beyond the demands and complexities of human life.  In this space, everything is cleansed and cleared.  Then you can choose to feel the innate joy, fullness, perfection, emptiness, nothingness - I AM - of creation.  After wallowing here for a while, the next thing comes to me.   New directions and inspirations are born in this space.  



You have today and every moment of life to get to know YourSelf more and more, mind and body especially, and what feels good and motivates you.  I've noticed it is constantly changing as my embodiment evolves.  You are a spirit having a temporary human experience and you get to choose how to re-write your book now.  You can choose the thoughts, words, and actions that will uplift, inspire, and motivate you into more life and more enjoyment.  Pay attention to what feels good and celebrate it.   In this way, everyday life becomes an adventure where the prize is growing ease, love and enjoyment - feeling more like yourself!  


I celebrate you for being here with me now and for getting to know yourself!  


Lots of Love. Namaste!



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