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Beyond Choice - You As Creator

How exactly does the Creator manifest, choose, live?


Obviously, at one point, we created from a tiny perspective of conditioning, from the ego. An ego that was seeking for survival, energy, approval, success, love, money, etc.. You could say we manifested an ego and then let it assume a role, pretending to be Creator, pretending to be you and me. Even when we forgot who we really are, that vague remembrance of our eternal wholeness kept us seeking and searching for something. All of this seeking is appropriate and natural. It’s a search that could only ever bring us back to ourselves.


Part of remembering who we are most certainly includes playing with manifestation abilities. Commanding this and that into our lives - money, relationships, etc. For a while, I personally played with entering the Theda state frequently, and at will, and commanding reality to mold to my whim. One particular day in 2013, I sat in the casino, entered a deep theta state and felt myself winning a jackpot on a slot machine. I envisioned three purple 7’s with a triple jackpot. I felt the excitement, and then the relief, and decided I would drive to the bank and deposit the money. I took a breath and inserted $20. Within 4 presses of the button, everything came into slow motion, and I watched the purple 7’s land with a triple jackpot as if in a dream. Suddenly, I was jarred back into the speed of time as the bells and whistles went off and the lights started flashing, everyone looking at me! “Wow, I just did that!!!”. I kept playing with this for a while. I still remember the concerned look on my tax accountant’s face when I handed her a stack of casino receipts to be filed with my taxes!


Realizing our ability to consciously create and manifest in this way is wonderful, except it is a far cry from our true abilities as Creator. This ability to manifest went on for a year or two, until my knowing revealed to me that I was to outgrow this somewhat immature approach to creating, and discover how my presence and pure expression manifests FOR me, beyond the need for any super specific choice. The real “choice" isn’t really a choice, it’s already there. You could say in true creator-ship, you let it manifest spontaneously, yet you are a co-creator. It just IS the highest potential that you follow and you watch it unfold without a set agenda.


The real choice, which I have made, but was already there for me to assume and commit to, is to embody the wholeness that I AM. To become who I’ve always been, but in the human form. That is the only choice that’s needed! But still, it’s already been made for you. So, you can embrace this natural evolution, or you can resist it. Since our pure essence is without lack, fear, or limitation, as you align with it, life automatically reflects abundance, benevolence, enjoyment, beauty, and unconditional love.


For the next decade, after my experiments with conscious manifestation, I would just keep clearing the distortions of emotion, beliefs, and conditioning from the body, letting my essence guide and steer me into and through every scenario. It is through experience after experience that real trust in this Creator Self naturally grows. It only starts as a belief, but it becomes an embodied knowing.

In this knowing, I am firm on a choice: “Creator Self, I hand you my life, my world, my bank account, my body, my mind, my car, my soul, my relationships, and all of my reality to guide and steer”. This body and mind is the instrument of Source. And so it is.


I found that it is easy to get caught up in ego fueled desires, old habits, old patterns, especially when the ego itself is claiming “I AM THAT I AM”. Manifestations of the ego are often considered to be money, greed, power, etc., but the ego evolves itself into a spiritual identity as well, in disguise, often mimicking teachings of others. It’s important, all along the way, to remember that it’s not a bad thing, not to demonize the ego nor the identities. It is literally evolving right along with us. The trick is to see how it’s served you and thank it as surely as you determine you’ve outgrown it… you’re the presence, not the identity.


While clearing all these identities seeking something and looking to control the future, I came across so many crossroads! Do I go this way or that way? Many times, the creative and wily identity aspects would convince me to go in directions of their own agenda. I learned, again and again and again, to connect with my Creator Self and ask. It is very, very easy to get a clear answer. It comes in an instant. It is only when the mind kicks in with analysis and objection that things become confusing.


The sensation of wanting or desiring this or that was most often coming from emotional constructs, identities and aspects. I typically went off into those directions, only to find things didn’t quite work out as “desired”. But, each and every time, I came full circle back to my starting point only to see a more expansive truth in things.

There is a big difference between desire or seeking, and in letting the knowing and clarity come to you. When we set out on a path of seeking, we are surely not available for what we truly desire, to come home to us. All we really desire is the split parts of self to come home. As each identity splits off, we feel a void inside. We can keep sending our energy out elsewhere to fix this empty feeling, and end up feeling even more empty… or we can bring it all home and feel content from within. As we relax into What IS, staying connected to Self, staying out of the head and being in presence, we become clearer and clearer, lighter and lighter, feeling more like ourselves beyond the artificial emotional overlays. Emotion is a cheap substitute for true feeling. The way you feel, your presence, is a constant source of embracement. Emotions are fickle.


I’m not suggesting that you don’t enjoy the emotions, that you don’t go after your desires. Sometimes it is the very act of following these desires that we allow the aspects and the underlying emotions to come forth and be felt, seen, understood, accepted, and integrated. If you achieve your desire, and you are still dissatisfied, now you can see where the desire was really coming from. Stepping into this again and again makes it clear that nothing else, nothing outside of you, can bring true fulfillment.


You get to a point where you identify the seeking and don’t bother stepping into the physical situation. You can intuit the origin and welcome back your light, your power, your fullness without wasting any more time playing the game. It becomes uninteresting because you already sense the lack of ultimate satisfaction. It feels shallow, superfluous, lack luster.


Now YOU are finally more fully in this body, and in the driver’s seat. You start to enter your true flow as Creator. You realize there is no longer any need to choose. Instead of the confusion between what is your true choice and what is the ego choice, there becomes only one choice in your life circumstances. You can give the personality mind little jobs like choosing vanilla or chocolate, or what style of clothes to wear, because none of this is ultimately important to the Creator Self.


Your great honor now is to simply say YES to the invitations that come from YOU. There’s no point in analysis, no need for a list of pros and cons, no contemplation, etc., because your life is now a divine orchestration that goes beyond typical logic. You haven’t lost logic. In fact, by now, your emotional and mental bodies are so clear that your logic is sharper than ever. But, it’s not your decision making tool for the big life choices. It’s a simple tool for computing and utilizing everyday things needed to function in the world.


As you’ve evolved beyond the old 3D, 4D human logic into divinity constantly expanding and unfolding, you’re going beyond all current belief systems. You’re creating anew in ways that defy pre-experienced reasoning. You no longer look at life as a mirror of your energy, because you are not energy - you are presence that creates energy. You’re not attracting anything because you’re not pulling in. You’re constantly expanding and expressing through everything.

When odd situations or people come into your life, it’s not a reflection of you, nor something you need to fix or resolve, it’s just that they are asking to be illuminated by the light of consciousness. It has nothing to do with you - it’s not even “YOUR LIGHT” as it’s just the light of consciousness, but its flowing through your body so I’ll call it that for the sake of words.


Your light is igniting awareness and remembrance within everyone. There’s no need to define, judge, analyze why this or that is happening. Heck, there’s no longer need to define who you are or why you’re here, cuz you’re fulfilling your purpose of being you. In fact, trying to define these things would only shrink your huge expansive radiance back down into a mental, linear view point. You’re not in a mental linear flow, you’re in a multidimensional dance within, of, and as, All That IS. You stay in this expanse by FEELING. You mostly feel, not think. The knowingness trickles in through the mind, not because you're thinking, but because the mind becomes the translator of your All Knowingness.


You’ve realized most thinking is dreadfully tedious, not necessary, and it takes you out of your expanded awareness. Some thinking is necessary, of course! But, your presence is your wisdom, knowingness, guidance, bliss, joy, etc. This presence is YOU! The mind is just a tool to use when it serves you. Now that you’re not thinking of dumb stuff all the time, you’re mind is free to be used even more efficiently!


I’ve connected with hundreds of brilliant Creators who have wholeheartedly chosen full enlightenment in this lifetime, or chosen to fully know and embody one’s true Self. Still, I watch many get stuck here refusing to hand control over to the Creator Self, as if it’s some lack of mastery, but it just gives the human ego a sense of being the master, rather than allowing the full surrender to themselves as All That Is. Take a deep breath of honesty and ask yourself “Is there anything I’m holding on to? Is there anything I’m hiding behind, anyone I’m hiding behind? Is there anything I’ve been unwilling to admit or look at?”. If so, it’s okay. It’s your awareness of these things, and the acceptance of these things, that allow the truth to reveal itself.


During this transition out of identity based choice, I experienced great frustration, wanting life to magically change in a day or year. Part of embodying your all knowingness is a very grounded reality check. We live in a densified reality and the body, mind, and world takes time to realign. We’re not putting bandaids over wounds, we’re cleaning them out to the core and letting the rebuilding take place at the deepest levels, technically through every level and every dimension since the original perception of first separation. This doesn’t happen in the flip of a switch, it is a slow meld, a slow and graceful transition. But there is a switch you can flip! Your choice for inner acceptance is always available. If you judge nothing, no one, not even yourself, you have found freedom now. It is your right and option to fully accept all parts of yourself right here and now. From this space of inner freedom, the outside choices become much less important!


Many spiritual manifestation teachings inspire a lot of fluffy emotional excitement with visualization and anticipation which just empowers the egoic, endless seeking. Yes, it’s a great start to remind you of your true power. Yes, it feels fulfilling, for a little while… with that big juicy emotional feast. So it is a great and wonderful part of the road home to your Self. But, the hype always dies down, and you feel the underside of emotions. You are left with what you always have in true reality. You are left with just YOU. With everything you do, everywhere you go, it’s just your sense of Self that determines how you feel. It is the extent of your embodied presence, and really feeling this wholeness, that ultimately brings long-term fulfillment. From here, fulfillment just grows and grows on it’s own… no seeking needed! There is no decision to make. Without split soul facets, there is ONE natural choice, as there is ONE YOU. It is body, mind, and YOU, fully integrated as the one clear facet of Source that you are, in a body. This is now the beginning of life, of relaxing into your realization of Self.


The way I see it, we started this life in the autopilot of conditioning, so choices were easy. Then we woke up to question what we were doing and why. We starting making more conscious choices. Ironically, our “conscious choices” were still mostly driven by the subconscious mind, it’s beliefs, and the resulting emotions. As we dance this funky dance of discernment with the subconscious, we become clearer and clearer by staying committed to the truth of Self. Letting the aspects run the show for a while can serve. We might finally be honest within ourselves and tell people “I just flat out don’t want to do that!”. In areas where we were once suppressing emotions, we welcome them up into the light. The parts of Self that we hid away can now come out and have their day in the sun! We watch without judgment, in presence and our capacity for compassion grows. We accept all parts - none too dark, devious, angry, power hungry, big, small, or terrified to connect with with in presence. As the emotional body runs out of steam, we feel that true essence of self more with every breath, and the knowingness grows.


Take a deep breath and release every identity-created wish, dream, and desire. Hand it all over to your Creator Self to resolve the emotional energies and realign your life for you. Feel your beauty, your perfection, and your fullness! Wallow in your presence, really feel it. Feel how abundant you are as your feel yourself as All That Is. You are expanded through all time/space, and you always have been. You are everywhere and part of everything. You are even the spaces in between spaces. There is not one part of you separate or alone. There isn’t even a part, for there is no space nor boundary. Feel that. This is fulfillment that no one can give nor take from you.


Now, sit back and relax! Lighten up! Enjoy feeling the fullness. Have fun with your aspects and identities, they're just evolving full circle, back to their Source! Welcome your Creator Self to take command of life and steer you. Let the next steps come to you in this expanded presence. When the next thing comes, connect with yourself and ask if it is coming from you or the ego/mind. There are endless ways to receive this confirmation and it comes in an instant. It’s that easy.


Next, is the more challenging part. Move along in the direction that is being laid out FOR you, BY you, like a royal red carpet. Just take one tiny step at a time if it feels a little scary or overwhelming. I promise, it will only lead you to everlasting inner fulfillment.


From here, you can enjoy things and people with no sense of attachment or aversion. You are no longer wanting people or things to change or enhance how you feel! You are so full with pure presence, silence, and at times pure expressive joy. Your cup is overflowing, so rather than seeking, you get to share the love, that unconditional presence and radiance that you are. The giving and receiving are one and the same as you get to embody, feel, know, and be the expression of Source, often called unconditional love.


Beyond choice there is just you, expanding and expressing through creation. The path unfolds… Enjoy!


Image courtesy of Pixabay, Larisa-K




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